Björnes Magasin

hahahaha... heja Sverige!
(in swedish)

your attitudes affects the outcome

"If you would just give up demanding that your life MUST BE different from the way it currently is, then you'd solve 80% of your problems in an instant!"

Jim Byrne

Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) is based on the assumption that what we label our “emotional” reactions are largely caused by our conscious and unconscious evaluations, interpretations, and philosophies. Thus, we feel anxious or depressed because we strongly convince ourselves that it is terrible when we fail at something or that we can’t stand the pain of being rejected. We feel hostile because we vigorously believe that people who behave unfairly to us absolutely should not act the way they indubitably do, and that it is utterly insufferable when they frustrate us.

Epictetus (55-125), a greek philospher who spent his youth as a slave, can sum up the flavour of REBT, as follows: "People are not disturbed by things, but by the view they take of them." In other words we are not upset by what happens to us. We get upset because of the attitude that we adopt towards the things that happen to us".

The vast majority of us want to be happy! We want to get along with others—especially with one or two close friends; we want to be well informed and educated; we want a good job with good pay; and we want to enjoy our leisure time.
Of course life doesn't always allow us to have what we want; our goal of being happy is often thwarted by the "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune." When our goals are blocked, we can respond in ways that are healthy and helpful, or we can react in ways that are unhealthy and unhelpful.

So maybe we should stop blaming externals for our reactions. We have a choice to whatever comes in our way, we can chose to react in a positive or negative way. Sometimes we do not even know what it is that makes us react in certain ways. But if we wish to grow and mature as persons we must take an inside look and find out what attitudes and beliefs that we hold that affects our reactions to external obstacles just as much as the obstacle itself.

To find out about our attitudes and examine them are not an easy process. I would suggest beginning by reading: "The Lies We Believe" by Chris Thurman, where he goes through some typcal attitudes and beliefs (e.g. perfectionism, destructiveness) people have about themselves or others that can affect their emotional life and slef-esteem.

"The uneducated man blames others;

The partly-educated man blames himself;

The educated man blames no one."

Epictetus

What Can We DO?

Today at the College assembly we were shown a movie about the children living in North Uganda; how they suffer under the civil war, how they are being abducted to become child soldiers trained to kill other human beings at the age of as young as 8 years old.
The movie was made by a a broup of young Americans who went to Uganda.

I found a clip on youtube that shows just a part of what the movie is about.



I was amazed at how these children suffering in these horrible circumstances were still able to smile and even be thankful to God for the little miracles of each day. it reminded me of how grateful i should be but also of how much still needs to be done in this unjust world of exploitation.

We cannot ignore the suffering any longer!

The Paradoxical Commandments

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.

Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.

Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.

Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.

Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.

Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.

Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.

Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.

Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.

Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.

Give the world the best you have anyway.

The Paradoxical Commandmentsby Dr. Kent M. Keith

facebook

I am now a member of facebook (aswell... too many communities online right now!)

Check out more of my pictures at: www.facebook.com

God as Santa Claus?

Luke 11:13
If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!

Preoccupation with spiritual performance often results in a tendency toward extremes of self-righteousness or shame, which both leads to high levels of anxiety. Spiritual systems should not be about performance but about emtional honesty or human need. How many churches teach that your place in heaven will be determined by how many good works you've done here on earth?

Santa is the one whose gifts depend upon our behaviour. God is the one who gives good gifts simply because He loves us not because of perfomance.

congratulations

CONGRATULATIONS:

JOHANN + MONICA

8th April 2007

wishlist

LINKS:

Chandelier - IKEA

Metallice Bag -Accesorize

Bracelet/Bangle - Accesorize

Toni&Guy - 38mm Barrel Tong

Leather Tote - Wedins

Cordless Telephone - Argos

ha ha ha

Adorable baby... thank you Tatiana.

smack the pony

Back in the days when I still lived at home "Smack the Pony" was definately a show that would entertain me and my sisters... so happy when I found a clip fom it on youtube:

Country Music

I've never enjoyed country music but the ballads that comes from it is acctually rather good. I found this song by Alison Krauss and suddenly I admit to liking Country Music despite it all...



"Stay" from her CD "Forget About It" (1999)

Hurt people hurt people

"Hurt people, hurt people." In other words, people who hurt others with their actions and words are people who are hurting inside themselves! When someone lashes out at another person, they are expressing their hurt in a destructive and irresponsible manner. Feelings of hurt and pain are normal parts of everyday life. Therefore, it is important to find solutions to our problems that are constructive and responsible in order to enjoy the pleasures that life has to offer, as well.

When I am hurt I tend to hurt others. Whether I want to or not. It is when I am aware of what is my own issues and take ownership of them, think them through and deal with them. It is when I am in that process that it is easier to deal with others. Sometimes we don't know what hurt us, and sometimes we don't know why we hurt others. Maybe this can help me be more empathic and less aggressive if someone hurts me or attacks me in any way. I know that some say "attack is the best defense" but in the long run it just brings along even more pain.

Now I am not saying that being hurt is an excuse for bad behaviour, but I do think that we sometimes judge peoples character on a wrong interpretation of who they are. We cannot know what hurt people, but we can show them acceptance and give space for them to figure it out. We can also stop ourselves from hurting others by dealing with the issues we have.

Hurt people can only hurt others if allowed to do so. With adults, know that you can judge the size of a person by the size of the things that they allow to make them angry.

ellos

Ellos has really improved lately and you can always find bargains on their website. Piké, seatshirts and summerdresses for less than 100 SEK is even affordable to poor students like myself. Here are my picks:




Dress 99;- Black dress 299;- Leggings 79.50;-


Tights 79.50 Sweatshirt 149;- Sweatshirt 89;-


Piké 55;-

genuine leather

I've wanted a brown/tan coloured leather bag for a very long time, but so far prices on real leather bags have just been too high. But today I checked out Åhlens website and there I found this lovely thing for 795 SEK that is definately a BARGAIN! So I guess that is what my next saving plan is going to: a great leather tote!